Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Sergei Eros in Nature's Fatal Shadow #73 (Love)

Hells of human beings leading underground
The Luceferic “I” doesn't want to be found
Erect phallus, Santa Maria's kiss
Uncontrolled passion, orchestra of the abyss
Cursed blood and black moon chants
Witches sabbath and the savage dance

The incarnate Christ on the Jordan's shore
Seminal atoms unlocking Monserrat's door
The serpent of embraces who binds and unites
The serpent ascends to heal the Israelites
God in the sun of the Nazarenes
Bird and serpents coupling to redeem

(Sergei Eros)

Sergei Eros in the atomic hell of human beings #72 (Love)

Lilith howling in pain
created for the abyss
Disfigurement, desolation
and a thousand mouths to kiss
She lays you down next to her
You feel the rock cut into your back
You feel loneliness and hunger
Longing and less and loss and lack

Hands to tear and wound
Mouths to bite and chew

Crawling from an ancient river
She causes the waters to flood
Watch that muddy, violent water
Run red with her menstrual blood
Her mouth on your sexual organ
You can hear the dark, throbbing call:
“Chastity is a crime here
Fornication is law”
(Sergei Eros)

Eleanor in Clearwater, FL #71 (Transcendence)

I was born lame. I always thought love would heal me. From the act of believing that love was capable of healing, I became entirely well in a timeless area in me that was beyond my self.

Vince in Frankfurt, KY #70 (Dreams)

I joined an Antiochan Orthodox Church near my home some weeks back because I had begun to feel alone with my love for God and that feeling of being so intimately fused was almost too heavy a burden to bear. I sat through the liturgy, felt quite welcomed by the congregation but somewhere inside I felt this barren, broken feeling when I was in the Cathedral. A couple of nights ago I had a dream that I was struggling up a craggy hill with thousands of other people who were cloaked in an otherwordly silence. When I finally managed to climb to the top, all I could see in the distance were many more treacherous hills with many more thousands of people climbing them. I woke up and sat on the edge of the bed; thought about hurling myself out of the window. I wondered if my longing for joy and unity wasn't a sterile, false bond put in place to try and make man feel less alone and if maybe God and vitality could only be found in solitude and sorrow?

Lykos in Cimmeria #69 (Fairy Tale)

I asked the night sky
Where has the sun gone
How come He takes away his light?
The dark birdsong of grackles
Moon's fatal glow on the spikenard cluster
I've drank from the endless sea of longing and night
(Kelsey Bee)

Diodotus in Cimmeria #68 (Fairy Tale)

My mother told me a story about a child who could fly to try and comfort me and help me fall asleep. Instead it made me melancholy. I pretended I was slumbering and when she left my room I wrote this poem about him:
"It breaks my heart
to see him flying around
When I feel so low
down here on the ground
Falling lifeless from dead branches
Starlings and thrushes
Who in the haze of eternal night
Ate berries from Buckthorn bushes"
(Kelsey Bee)

Epiktetos in Cimmeria #67 (Fairy Tale)

Sister is lost in the Boreal Wood
Barn swallow nesting in her icy heart
Flown North with the wind to mate
Secret blossoming in tiny wombs

Her body decaying in the Roseroot leaves
Search for her in the darkness
And you find migrating birds flying
into thorns and bodies in torment
(Kelsey Bee)

Acacius in Cimmeria #66 (Fairy Tale)

Animals coupling
in the darkest forest
Bite. Blood mixes
with savage blood
How can someone
love me, mother?
There is no me
to love.

(Kelsey Bee)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Jeremy in Mount Airy, North Carolina #65 (Rage)

You're a mediocre human being; a dilettante in everything you do. You're unable to give of yourself; you can only give the illusion that you are. This is why you are and will remain a stunted person, an aborted human being who is mutilated and mutilates as they pass through this world. (Anthony Washburn)

Becky in Dunbar, WV #64 (Self Evaluation)

I have my grandmother's cheekbones. The gaunt face of someone who submits to life. Her renunciation was loving and mine is devotion to myself and fear. (Chris Hodge)

Luc in Deering, OH #63 (Love)

My dark heart calls for blood; calls to the lonesome and desperate to devour it and become inflamed with terrifying and redemptive love.

Paul in Allentown, Pennsylvania #62 (Hyperreality)

That girl with the high forehead who is standing in the parking lot with her boyfriend has a nest of yellow jackets in her throat.

Allison in Fairfax, Virginia #61 (Violence)

I shot him twice in the chest. He slumped to the floor. I laid my head on his chest and my hair soaked up his savage blood.

Samantha in Bend, Oregon #60 (Sorrow)

Life hasn't been too kind to any of my brothers. One of them died in a drug deal gone wrong. The second killed his wife when he found her with another man; he's serving a mandatory 40 years in the pen. My youngest brother got leukemia when he was 8 and died 6 months later.

Ansel in Hazard, Kentucky #59 (Self evaulation)

I flatter the devil with every word that comes out of my mouth. I looked in the mirror a couple days ago and I saw leprosy eating away at my skin. I started clawing at my face, trying to find the person I was underneath all the layers of atrocity and pain. I ended up just scratching my face up pretty bad; nothing really changed. Hardly anything ever does.

Elizabeth in Ogden, Utah #58 (Dreams)

I have a recurring dream where I'm sitting on the hood of a 94 Dodge Shadow that is driving down the highway at a dangerous speed weaving in and out of traffic. My legs are spread and I'm topless. With one hand I'm squeezing my nipple and with the other I'm fingering myself. When I try to look back and see who's driving the car, I always wake up.

Clemencia in Chiapa, Mexico #57 (Sorrow)

Life has teeth to chew up girls like me. When you think about me you think about my big red lips on your lips and my hands on your body and my crotch writhing in the darkest moonlight and calling you by your secret name saying: "fuck me." (Christopher Feltner)

Abri in Port Elizabeth, South Africa #56 (Love)

I was wise enough to no longer expect your letters but when I gave up hope for them I gave up something vitally alive inside myself. When you stopped gorging yourself on my flesh you had learn to love my failures and my frailties instead of my strengths and successes and you were unable to do so.

Mercedes in Beckley, West Virginia #55 (Sorrow)

I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks before my 16th birthday. The daddy was a shit for brains 18 year old drop out who talked me into snorting oxycontin at a party and then fucked me when I was half out of it. God there's a sort of sick loneliness in this world and even when my mom and daddy and that fucking junkie were desperately trying to talk me into having an abortion I kept thinking about how it was gonna be nice it was gonna be to always have someone with me that I love. In the soft glow of an early fall evening I was carrying groceries in and felt this cramping pain in my stomach and I collapsed in the driveway. My mom called an ambulance and they hauled me off to the hospital; the whole way there I was hemorrhaging this rusty brown blood and crying softly as I felt my child dying in my agonized womb. When I got to the hospital, the doctor told us what I already knew: I'd lost my baby. That pill head fuck up really dodged a bullet when he knocked me up, huh? (Chris Hodge)